Another very successful Turkey Day in the books. As usual, we got through 7 features, some hitting the low point, many hitting some high points, and one hitting so far off the grid that it would be tough to explain! But we managed through, because we are, after all, professional lovers of cinema! And if you can’t find enjoyment in some of the strangest films out there, you’re just looking too hard at them. These films are the ones that you just sit back and bask in the wonderment, that someone thought that not only was the story good enough to proceed, but that they actually found backers willing to put up the money!

Attending this Turkey Day was the usual suspects Neil Calderone, Jason Coffman, Brian Fukala, Tim Palace, Gavin Schmitt, and making his 20^th year attending Turkey Day was Aaron Christensen, my co-pilot on these events since nearly the beginning. We also had the usual array of gourmet pizzas cranked out by my lovely wife, Dawn, which I still strongly think these guys come for the food and just put up with the movies! Speaking which, let’s get too them!

Space Probe Taurus (1965) – I stumbled across this title on Amazon Prime one evening and gave it a try. Within minutes, I knew it would be a perfect addition to Turkey Day. While made over a decade after all the most of the other space exploration films in the ’50s, this one feels and sounds like it was from that same era, where women were talked down to and pretty much second-class citizens. One of the crew is a woman, who the captain was not too happy she was chosen to be aboard because, well, she’s a woman! There is a wee bit of sexist comments made, which again, at the time might have flown as normal conversation, but to hear it now can actually make you wince. Not only at the comment itself, but that was acceptable at the time. At least we’ve made progress in that regard!

This crew is sent out to explore space, possibly looking for a new planet to inhabit. They get sidetracked due to some damage to the ship and find a planet to temporarily stay on while repairs are made. They actually land underwater, which was quite different than most of these types of films. Shortly after they have landed, they start to be attacked by some sort of creatures that they’ve never seen before, which is really odd because they are just normal crabs made to look oversized. The alien creature they come across briefly was also used in the film The Wizard of Mars (1965). If you’ve got a cool creature design, don’t just waste it in one film! The film is about exploring, which really set the pace for the rest of the day!

Common Law Wife (1961) – Now this one I knew might not technically fit into what I usually program, always staying in the horror and sci-fi genres, but this one I felt I needed to be screened. Co-directed by a personal favorite director, Texas-based Larry Buchanan, who has had a few of his films played during this marathon over the years, it is pure exploitation, or what I’ve recently discovered is included in the Hickploitation sub-genre. Yes, that is a thing.

In a small Texas town, an old rich man who seemingly controls the local town, is tired of his girlfriend who has been with him for 5 years. She’s apparently too old and worn out. He tells her to get out so his niece can come stay with him and take care of him. Yes, there is some incest more than implied here, which is pretty twisted, especially since its basically blown off. But when this ex-girlfriend finds out that she can claim to be his common law wife, getting rid of her isn’t that simple. Of course, the niece, a stripper who goes by the name of Baby Doll, wants her uncle’s money and is willing to kill for it! Throw in the sorted romance with the local sheriff, who is Baby Doll’s brother-in-law (!!!), a local bootlegger, it all comes to an intense ending.

Buchanan started the picture under the title Swamp Rose in 1960, but it never got released. Director Eric Sayers used some of the footage from it and added his own, calling it Common Law Wife. The Buchanan film was shot in color, but Sayers converted it to black and white to match his footage. There are parts where it is obvious that they are from different prints, even different actresses in parts playing the same character. But again, it really shows the independent filmmakers of that era, and what they would/could do to get a film out to the drive-ins.

Voodoo Black Exorcist (1974) – This one. Oof. I try to find a title here and there that will really test the endurance of our group, and this one did just that. Directed by Manuel Caño who only made about nine films in his career, including a couple of Tarzan movies in the late ’60s / early ’70s. During that time, he made two horror entries, the first being The Swamp of the Ravens (1974) and then Voodoo Black Exorcist the same year. Unfortunately, the film defines really what a bad movie is, and that is boring. Very slow paced, with shots of people just slowly walking or moving across the screen. An ancient mummy is awakened on a cruise ship, somehow is transformed back to when he was young, at least at times, and then just happens to see a woman who seems to be his re-incarnated love. What are the odds?

The woman was played by Eva León, who appeared in a few films with Paul Naschy, such as Blue Eyes of the Broken Doll (1974), Inquisition (1977), and El Caminatnte (1979), along with being in Mansion of the Living Dead (1982) for director Jess Franco. She does a good job here but really there isn’t much for her to do! The mummy makeup is decent as well, looking like they just covered his face with liquid latex, and they tried hard to come up with an interesting story, with the supernatural elements of time and the stars, but it just bogs the plot down even more. Probably the low point of the day, which brought comments from the group like “why does Jon hate us?”

The Rare Blue Apes of Cannibal Isle (1974) – This was another title that really didn’t fit into the horror or sci-fi genre, but is just so freaking bizarre, that I knew I had to screen it. It was released in Vinegar Syndrome’s The Lost Picture box set, and it is one of those films that when you try to explain it, not only would whoever you’re explaining it to not believe you, but even that wouldn’t cover all the strangeness you’ll witness during the running time.

A young mute boy whose pet duck, named Mr. Quack Quack, is causing trouble at home with this very seemingly rich family, so they tell him they will be getting rid of the duck tomorrow. So that night, taking Mr. Quack Quack along, little Nonnie takes a little boat and runs away. He somehow ends up on this small island that is inhabited by . . . ready for this? Crocodile creatures that are called Swampies, as well as a race of rare blue apes. These are actors in costumes, almost like something like a cross between Sid & Marty Croft from the late ’60s or rejects from Peter Jackson’s Meet the Feebles (1989). Plus, the Swampies all talk like overly stereotyped pirates, with thick, possibly Cockney accents. The Blue Apes are also British sounding, but more elegant and almost regal. The Swampies are out to rule the island and well as find a hidden mine, while the last of the Blue Apes are trying to overcome their rule. When Nonnie is captured by them, he meets up with Hotcha, the youngest of the Ape family who was already captured and ready to be eaten.

And to make it even more bizarre, there are several singing numbers throughout the film! These poor actors that are in these costumes, running about on uneven surfaces and in the water, who probably can’t see too well, look like they are in constant danger of really being hurt, from falling to even being right next to real fire! Truly incredible that this was ever made. It’s definitely not for everyone, but it is one of those items of such strangeness that purveyors of that kind of cinema will lose their minds over.

The Oily Maniac (1976) – Since we just covered this film on our recent Turkey Day episode on our Discover the Horror podcast, I knew I wanted to screen this on our next marathon, which is exactly what I did! Why this film doesn’t have more attention is beyond me and hopefully one day soon, one of these boutique labels will put it out on one of those fancy new Blu-ray releases over here because it needs to be seen.

Danny Lee, star of 1974’s Infra-Man and future star of John Woo’s The Killer (1989), plays a young, handicapped man, stricken by polio in his youth, works in a law firm. He hates the fact that he has these physical ailments, thinking that everyone else must think of him as less than a real man. Which they all seem to do, since in almost every conversation, they always look down at his legs or crutches! When a good friend is going to be executed for murder, he tells him of this ancient spell that can transform the person into a superhero of sorts, but only when they use their special powers for good. When he tries the spell, it turns him into the title character, which sort of looks like a giant turd monster running about!

This is the perfect type of movie for Turkey Day because it never winks at the audience, plays it completely straight, definitely has a unique type of monster, and comes up with some off the wall stuff. Such as when it wants to travel without being seen, it reduces itself to a puddle that quickly moves across the ground! Or if he needs to change back into monster, he can just spray himself with diesel fuel!

Trick or Treats (1982) – Not to be confused with the other similarly titled films, this little slasher came out before all of them. This actually played at the theater when I worked there. Even back then, I remember it being pretty lack luster. I had rewatched at the end of last year and realized that my opinion of it really hasn’t changed. So, in other words, a perfect Turkey Day movie! With a cast including David Carradine, Steve Railsback, and Carrie Snodgress, one would think it would be a good little flick. Wrong. Or at least, that is what I thought.

In the film’s opening, we see Peter Jason being hauled off to the looney bin while his wife, Carrie Snodgress, patiently watching. The opening alone, as the two guys in white suits try to tackle him to put on the straight jacket is pretty fun, as you can tell Jason is going for the Oscar here. Then a few years later, a young woman has to come babysit for Snodgress’ little brat while her and her new husband, David Carradine, go off to Las Vegas for some party. The kid, played by director Gary Graver’s son Chris, is an obnoxious little brat who is obsessed with magic tricks and practical jokes, making this little babysitting job hell. Of course, Jason escapes from the nut house and makes his way back home to reclaim his life, as well as kill anybody that gets in his way.

Steve Railback plays the babysitter’s boyfriend, who’s entire screentime is in a dressing room backstage at a play he’s doing. The babysitter Linda, played by Jacqueline Giroux, just happened to be married to Railback at the time. I’m sure one didn’t have anything to do with the other getting casted here. Carradine is pretty wasted, appearing in only a couple of scenes. Take the “wasted” part however you want! The real star of the film is Peter Jason as the crazy father. He is a real hoot every time he’s onscreen, and for me personally, is the only reason to ever watch it.

But to my surprise, everyone at Turkey Day thought it was great! Go figure.

Santet (1988) – Our last film of the day, heading to Indonesia to see a film starring the famous Suzzanna, who is the topic of the recent documentary by David Gregory, Suzzanna: The Queen of Black Magic (2024). I’d seen this a couple of times this year and knew right away it would be a fun title for the next marathon. Suzzanna plays Katemi, a woman who chooses to practice black magic after her husband is brutally murdered for a crime he didn’t commit, which is fact was done by the man who pointed the finger at him.

We have a black magic priestess that is half woman / half crocodile, snakes popping out of legs, a lot of blood barfing, and all sorts of nasty stuff known from this country’s horror films. And yes, there’s a musical number that comes out of nowhere that has to be seen to be believed. The film has a combination of horror but some silly comedy as well, even when it is mixed with some of the horror.

This is a great example of what other countries take on the horror genre can be. It gives us stuff from their legends and folklore, what they think is scary, as well as how they incorporate all of it in a film, including the locations they are filming. No matter what, there are several moments here that you will always remember.

And then our 2024 marathon ends. Being our 22^nd Turkey Day Marathon, then including 10 years of doing Turkey Day in May, which means we’ve consumed a lot of Turkeys over the years. Because of this twisted idea I had over two decades ago, my friend Damien started hosting his own Turkey Day about a decade ago. And now, others are following. Don England does one in Michigan, Scott Bradley in California, and now James Turner started his own this year in Ohio. So yes, Turkey Day is slowly starting to become something more than just me wanting to avoid all the craziness of insane Black Friday shoppers and deciding to instead dive headfirst into some of the more unusual of what cinema has to offer! So why not start your Turkey Day marathon?

Until next May