Turkey Day 2007

Another year and another trip down the slippery slope of cinematic mishaps, misfires, and just plan screw ups.  Joining me once again was Dr. AC, who has become my ally and trusted companion on these trips to the ends of good taste and good movies, watching each other’s backs while we trudge along this journey some would call madness.  But we feel that it’s our duty to tackle these turkeys by the giblets and show them just who is stronger!  But let’s get on to the movies!

KillDozerKilldozer (1974) – Growing up in the ‘70s, I was able to watch a lot of great made-for-TV movies that were being produced at the time.  As well as some…not-so-good ones.  A lot like the idea for Night of the Lepus, whoever thought that a bulldozer that becomes possessed by an alien force, causing it to seek out and kill workers on an island construction site, might have thought it was a great idea.  But sometimes that spark of genius needs to be thought out a little bit more.  Even more surprising when it was based on a short story by noted sci-fi writer Theodore Sturgeon, who ever worked on the teleplay.

The idea of a bulldozer being able to sneak up on anybody other than blind people who are too numb to feel the ground shake, it about as silly as you can get.  But that didn’t stop them from making Killdozer.  This is a great example of what could get back bade in that time.  Western regular Clint Walker stars as a foreman trying to get his life and career back after a bout with alcoholism.  So when the weird stuff starts to happen, he knows nobody will believe him.  The film co-stars future TV star Robert Urich, James Wainwright, and the always memorable Neville Brand.

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Turkey Day 2006

Once again, it was time to test our prowess when it came to endurance and sheer will power.  And once again, I was joined by Dr. AC who willfully joined us for another year of film, fun, and fanatical devotion to test our sanity.  Guess he didn’t learn last time.

KINGDINOSAURKing Dinosaur (1955) – Since we had touched upon Mr. BIG last year with Food of the Gods (1976), we thought it would be a good idea to start this year with one of the films from the start of Gordon’s film career. Now even though ‘dinosaur’ is in the title of the film, what we actually get is an iguana and a baby alligator. The iguana is even referred to as a T-Rex in the movie. Boy, did someone miss a few of their paleontologists’ classes. When Gordon has these two creatures battling it out for world domination, it was something possible way before the likes of PETA were around. But even better than the creature fighting is just the dated dialog and actions of our small cast. These were the days when it was pretty normal just to have a small thermonuclear device that   you could carry around, and bring to another planet…just in case you’d need it.

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Turkey Day 2005

For this marathon, I was not going to have to make this journey alone. I found a sucker…I mean, a fellow movie fan that had the guts to put his love of bad movies to the test. Dr. AC (aka Aaron Christensen) joined me that faithful day to for another festival of B-movies and other such wonders. Though, he must have been pretty trusting of me since we’d only met a few months earlier. Little did he know of the horrors that I was going to put him through….(cue devilish laugh here) heheheh.

bloodfreak1Blood Freak (1972) – Yes, we did watch this film last year. And since this was AC’s first Turkey Day experience, I didn’t want to give him a full frontal assault right away. But I felt that since he had never witnessed Blood Freak before, that we’d have to make that the first film. Sort of breaking him in. Or breaking him down. Not sure which. And even I had watched it last year, watching this movie with a new viewer is almost as fun as watching the film itself for the first time. The look on their faces is always a riot. When the turkey monster first makes its appearance, and they look over at you with this “Are you fucking kidding me?” look….priceless.

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Turkey Day 2004

For our 2nd Turkey Day Marathon, I was still on my own. But I ventured on, determined that this punishment could only make me stronger. I had our films lined up for the day and were ready to take on whatever horrors await. So I strapped myself in and started the marathon!

BloodFreakBlood Freak (1972) – I wanted to start the marathon off with the ultimate of Turkey Day movies, and this was definitely it. This film was actually commissioned by a religious group to show the dangers of drug use and wanton sex. Steve Hawkes stars in the film that he also co-wrote and co-directed with Brad F. Grinter. Hawkes plays Herschell, an out-of-work vet looking for a job and a place to crash. He stops by the road to help a girl with car trouble. For his help, he is invited back to her home. Her sister just happens to be having a swinging drug party, but that doesn’t put her off as she sits and reads gospel from the Bible. Herschell doesn’t want to partake since he’s trying to impress this girl. But it gets even stranger. Herschell gets a job at a turkey farm and volunteers for a little experiment. He has to eat a turkey that has some laced with a experimental drug to see if it has any side effects. Well, after eating the entire turkey, he turns into a turkey-headed monster that craves blood. The guy basically has a turkey head mask on, with big bulging eyes.It has to be seen to be believed. And even then, it’s hard to believe that someone gave the thumbs up once the mask was put on.

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Turkey Day Marathon

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So just what is a Turkey Day Marathon? Back in the early ‘90s, when Mystery Science Theater was still on and Joel Robinson was still on board the Satellite of Love, Comedy Central would have something on the day after Thanksgiving calling it the Turkey Day Marathon, which would consist of 24 hours of MST3K. Not sure how many years they did it, but I knew I was in front of the TV for it as much as I could.

About a decade later, in 2003, I decided that I was going to something very similar to that. To celebrate all those cinematic shipwrecks, I was going to spend the Friday after Thanksgiving in front of my TV, assaulting my eyes with some of the best in bad cinema. How tough could it be? As much as I tried to get volunteers to join me on this insane escapade, no one was daring enough to do it. So I would have to go it alone. At least for the time being.

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