I really debated on writing anything about this event I recently attended, but while this is just my opinion, I felt it still needed to be said. I know the title of this post seems a bit harsh but let me explain why I feel this way. When someone is a teacher, professor, or someone in a position of authority, I’ve always figured that they would know what they are talking about. Maybe that’s a silly assumption but I still think that is should be true. So when I come across someone who is in that position, but doesn’t know as much as I feel they should, then I start to get a little uneasy. Yes, maybe I set the bar too high, but if someone is giving a speech or lecture on a certain subject, I just expect them to know that subject, especially if you are in the academia area.

A few of weeks ago, my buddy Bryan Martinez and I attended the Celebration of Slashers event held at the DePaul University in Chicago, as part of their Pop Culture Conference they hold every year. They focus on a different sub-genre each year, such as Dr. Who, Supernatural, Star Trek, Harry Potter, and others. The day is filled with different panels of academics giving 5 to 10 minute lectures or talks on a variety of subjects dealing with the main theme. This one peaked my interest obviously because this year the topic was slasher films, and figured it would be at least a little interesting to see what it would be about. I had a strong feeling there would be some psycho-babble there, but was surprised not to find as much as I thought. What I didn’t expect was the … let’s say “quality” of information given there.

Okay, maybe I went in on the offensive side a bit because of what I thought I’d be hearing. Or maybe, to be perfectly honest, I’m more than a little bit jealous of those that get to teach a captive audience about the horror genre. Or maybe my bad mood started when I watched a women fold her recently purchased book in half, then bending the spine backwards and creasing it with her hand. It was all I could do not to stand up and jump over the desk and grab the book from her, but Bryan was able to hold me back.

One of the reasons I debated on posting anything about this event because it was free, first of all. And they also raise money for great charities, plus the fact there are a lot of hard working people that get this thing organized and running it throughout the day. And I’m sure these people giving the talks are smart, educated professionals, and I don’t want to take anything away from them. But the problem was that I went into this with hopes of being stimulated by some interesting talks about slasher films and the horror genre from these learned academics, that would know what they are talking about. Instead, what I got was a variety of talks where unorganized, damn silly, or just not having a point.

One of the talks was discussing different scenes of blood splatter in the Supernatural TV series. That was the whole point… pictures of blood splatter on a wall from different episodes from the series. That is a reason for a panel discussion? Or what about the one that was about Danielle Harris being  pissed about not being cast in the new Halloween film, and the correlation with how her character Jamie Lloyd dealt with her absent mother in Halloween 4 & 5. The guy was quoting Harris from Twitter and a Facebook live chat that she did with her fans. This sure sounded like something you’d see on TMZ rather than coming from an academic. Ever think that maybe Harris was pissed about not being in the new film simple because it would have not only been a job, but also boost up her convention appearances? Another lecture was about John Carpenter that really didn’t seem to have a point other than that he made some really good films. Uh … really?

After one panel, it was opened to the audience, Bryan asked about if any of them thought about using any giallo films, since some of them play on the ambiguity of characters, even the killers. The look of bewilderment on the faces across the panel, you would have thought Bryan had asked if they ever considered looking at cat videos for inspiration. One mention that they had seen “a couple of those” but never really looked farther. Just seems really odd that you can be an academic, teaching classes on this stuff, but have such a tunnel vision view at the genre as a whole, especially when you look at the huge influence the giallo sub-genre had on slasher films.

One panelist claimed that we need more female screenwriters, preferably of the LGBT community, because only they could effectively write characters that were in that category, and not some straight white guy. So… using that same standard that would mean that a black gay woman couldn’t write a character that was white, straight, and male then, right? I agree that we need more female screenwriters, but a  good writer is a good writer. If they are creating a character that is something other than they are, then they should be doing some research into that to develop those characteristics. After all, the talent is what should be judged, not the person. More importantly, you’re looking at ’80s slasher films for high quality character development, that would be like trying to build a real nuclear reactor out of the science you learned from films like Terror from the Year 5000 (1958). Let’s face it, it’s not like films like Slaughter High (1986) were written by Truman Capote.

At the end of the day, the film business is still a business. The producers want a product that is going to make money at the box office, On-Demand, Redbox, Netflix, or wherever. So for a screenwriter in the ’80s, working for New Line Cinema, Fred Olen Ray, or any number of the lower budgeted studios, trying to get some heavy-handed, think-piece even past the producers, would probably have an easier time pitching Breakin’ 3. The producers wanting the same old stuff that was going to get people to grab their movie off the video store shelf, such as the famous 3 Bs … Blood, Beasts, and Boobs. Sorry to say it, right or wrong, that was how it worked. If you wanted to stay in the business, then you wrote what they wanted. And because it was for something like Sleepaway Camp 3, you probably didn’t put that much thought into it.

That doesn’t mean we can’t change the status quo. These get-togethers with fans and scholars should be a place of learning. Learning history of the genre. Learning why filmmakers did what they did, and how they did it. They can totally be used to study the way things were and challenge the current generation to improve upon them. Learn how to be creative. Learn the history, the facts, and theories. Yes, even theories, when they are taught as such. I would love to have a professor talk about a film saying “this is what I think this means… now what do YOU think it means?”. That way, you get your audience to use their own brain. Not to discuss why a scream queen is upset because she didn’t get cast in a movie.

I hope that the criticism here is not taken the wrong way, but to show the parts I feel needed to be improved upon and why, so that everyone can walk away with a better understanding of the subjects. Moving the genre and its fans forward is the key here and making sure the ones leading the way know their subjects, their history, and use that to hopefully spark that passion in the people listening. So they can take what they have learned even farther.